A Purpose

I've known for a long time that there is a big difference between just doing something that merely keeps us busy and doing something that actually has a purpose. However, for as long as I have known this fact, I'm not sure that I have fully taken it to heart and applied it to my own life. Anyone that knows me knows that I don't know how to say no to anything, and that I tend to fill up every minute of my schedule with something.

While I know everyone needs a break now and then, I am the kind of person that tends to completely fall apart if I don't get some alone time to decompress every once in a while. If I'm honest, I have hit that point and I am starting to fall apart. Now, don't worry. This is normal for me. It's nothing new. However, it relates to something that I need to address for myself, and I think that others may be able to relate, too.

Between working at the church on sermon preparation, visiting church families, hospital visits, working at school, and teaching private music lessons three nights a week, I tend to not have a whole lot of free time. Honestly, I like to stay busy. In fact, I find myself getting quite bored whenever I have a complete day of nothingness, which is quite rare as of late. I, also, can honestly say that I feel that the majority of what I do does have a purpose. I don't feel like any of the things that fill up my time are really a waste of time.

When I'm teaching at school, I am making a difference in student's lives. There is a debate in the educational world about whether we should teach curriculum or teach the student. In other words, are we focused on the material we are teaching, or are we focused on building the character of each student so that they are truly ready to face life? Although, obviously, I do teach curriculum in vocal music, since that is what I teach, I believe it to be much more important to teach students how to be ready for the world beyond the music classroom and beyond 12th grade. If I can have some small part in that, it is worth it all. In fact, just this week, one of my seniors in the Chamber Choir informed me that they plan to still contact me when they get into college next year so that they can work through and talk through some of life's issues with me, even after they graduate. I would be honored.

When I'm teaching private music lessons, I am helping to give a lifelong skill to my students. It is a very rewarding thing to see students grow in their abilities and talents, and watch them grow into amazing instrumentalists. Right now, I have the highest number of private students that I have ever had at one time, 8 students. I am extremely proud of all of them (if I am allowed to say that). Students that, two years ago, couldn't read a quarter note or play a simple C scale are now playing Beethoven pieces. It's amazing to see. My hope is that they will continue to use their musical abilities until the day that they die.

When I'm in "pastor mode," I truly know that I am following God's calling and leading in my life. As I have shared before, never would I have thought that I would become a lead pastor of a church. Nor would I have ever pictured myself to love being a pastor quite as much as I do. There are challenges. There are struggles. There are moments that I have no clue what to do, but in those moment I know that God does know what to do and I need to follow His leading for my life, as I do my best to lead the congregation that He has placed me in charge of. I really don't like getting compliments. Truly, I don't; I never know how to respond to them. However, I regularly hear of people that tell me that I have impacted them in some way for the better. I don't say that in a bragging way at all. I feel completely unworthy and highly unqualified, but at the same time I am humbled and honored that God could use me in that way.

You see, in all of those areas of my life, there is already a purpose. I'm not just wasting my life away. I'm not just doing busy work that has no impact or no purpose. However, while I was driving home tonight, in the rain (which always provokes deep thoughts for me for some reason), this thought came to my mind: I am not living my life for A purpose. In other words, I am not living my life for one, single purpose. A purpose. Currently, I am living my life for multiple purposes. My attention is split. It's divided. The purposes that I am living my life for are varied and unfocused.

I have heard people referred to as a "jack of all trades, master of none." That's how I feel. I feel like I am doing many things, but I am not mastering any of them. I don't have my life focused on one single purpose. My life is currently scattered on multiple focuses. I am so involved in school things that my attention on the church often suffers, and I am often so focused on church things that my head isn't fully into what I'm doing at school most of the time, either.

When I came to Victory, I told the church that they would be my primary focus, that I wouldn't allow any secondary job to become more important than my service to the church, and my service to God. While I have held true to that promise, working at school has challenged that promise to the limits, even from the very beginning.

So, here is my challenge to myself, and also my challenge to you, as well - to stay true to the one single purpose that I have, not because I am a pastor, but because I am a follower of Christ - to be a reflection of Jesus Christ to the lost and dying world around me. My purpose isn't to teach music. My purpose isn't even to write sermons. My purpose is to point people to the One that could change their life forever. That is my one purpose. It sounds simple and it is, but that simple fact, that one purpose, impacted me greatly tonight.

On my ride home, when this inspiration occurred, two songs played back to back on the radio - "Do Something" by Matthew West, and "Live It Well" by Switchfoot. In "Live It Well", the main lines of the chorus say "Life is short, I want to live it well. You're the One I'm living for." Really, that's my theme tonight. I don't want to waste my life living for any purpose other than living for Jesus. I may be doing other things, but if in the end what I'm doing doesn't point back to that purpose, I really need to evaluate what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

In all of the busyness that is my life, yes, I do need to slow down. However, even as I work at school, as I work at church, as I teach private lessons, no matter what I'm doing, I need to keep my focus on one thing alone - living my life for Him. That's all. That's it. Nothing more and nothing less. A single purpose. Everything else is secondary.

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." Colossians 3:23

Father, help me to keep my eyes on You at all times and to reflect Your light to the world around me. Simplify my purpose in life so that it all points back to You. Help me to be an example for You in all that I say and do. In Jesus name, amen.