A Purpose

I've known for a long time that there is a big difference between just doing something that merely keeps us busy and doing something that actually has a purpose. However, for as long as I have known this fact, I'm not sure that I have fully taken it to heart and applied it to my own life. Anyone that knows me knows that I don't know how to say no to anything, and that I tend to fill up every minute of my schedule with something.

While I know everyone needs a break now and then, I am the kind of person that tends to completely fall apart if I don't get some alone time to decompress every once in a while. If I'm honest, I have hit that point and I am starting to fall apart. Now, don't worry. This is normal for me. It's nothing new. However, it relates to something that I need to address for myself, and I think that others may be able to relate, too.

Between working at the church on sermon preparation, visiting church families, hospital visits, working at school, and teaching private music lessons three nights a week, I tend to not have a whole lot of free time. Honestly, I like to stay busy. In fact, I find myself getting quite bored whenever I have a complete day of nothingness, which is quite rare as of late. I, also, can honestly say that I feel that the majority of what I do does have a purpose. I don't feel like any of the things that fill up my time are really a waste of time.

When I'm teaching at school, I am making a difference in student's lives. There is a debate in the educational world about whether we should teach curriculum or teach the student. In other words, are we focused on the material we are teaching, or are we focused on building the character of each student so that they are truly ready to face life? Although, obviously, I do teach curriculum in vocal music, since that is what I teach, I believe it to be much more important to teach students how to be ready for the world beyond the music classroom and beyond 12th grade. If I can have some small part in that, it is worth it all. In fact, just this week, one of my seniors in the Chamber Choir informed me that they plan to still contact me when they get into college next year so that they can work through and talk through some of life's issues with me, even after they graduate. I would be honored.

When I'm teaching private music lessons, I am helping to give a lifelong skill to my students. It is a very rewarding thing to see students grow in their abilities and talents, and watch them grow into amazing instrumentalists. Right now, I have the highest number of private students that I have ever had at one time, 8 students. I am extremely proud of all of them (if I am allowed to say that). Students that, two years ago, couldn't read a quarter note or play a simple C scale are now playing Beethoven pieces. It's amazing to see. My hope is that they will continue to use their musical abilities until the day that they die.

When I'm in "pastor mode," I truly know that I am following God's calling and leading in my life. As I have shared before, never would I have thought that I would become a lead pastor of a church. Nor would I have ever pictured myself to love being a pastor quite as much as I do. There are challenges. There are struggles. There are moments that I have no clue what to do, but in those moment I know that God does know what to do and I need to follow His leading for my life, as I do my best to lead the congregation that He has placed me in charge of. I really don't like getting compliments. Truly, I don't; I never know how to respond to them. However, I regularly hear of people that tell me that I have impacted them in some way for the better. I don't say that in a bragging way at all. I feel completely unworthy and highly unqualified, but at the same time I am humbled and honored that God could use me in that way.

You see, in all of those areas of my life, there is already a purpose. I'm not just wasting my life away. I'm not just doing busy work that has no impact or no purpose. However, while I was driving home tonight, in the rain (which always provokes deep thoughts for me for some reason), this thought came to my mind: I am not living my life for A purpose. In other words, I am not living my life for one, single purpose. A purpose. Currently, I am living my life for multiple purposes. My attention is split. It's divided. The purposes that I am living my life for are varied and unfocused.

I have heard people referred to as a "jack of all trades, master of none." That's how I feel. I feel like I am doing many things, but I am not mastering any of them. I don't have my life focused on one single purpose. My life is currently scattered on multiple focuses. I am so involved in school things that my attention on the church often suffers, and I am often so focused on church things that my head isn't fully into what I'm doing at school most of the time, either.

When I came to Victory, I told the church that they would be my primary focus, that I wouldn't allow any secondary job to become more important than my service to the church, and my service to God. While I have held true to that promise, working at school has challenged that promise to the limits, even from the very beginning.

So, here is my challenge to myself, and also my challenge to you, as well - to stay true to the one single purpose that I have, not because I am a pastor, but because I am a follower of Christ - to be a reflection of Jesus Christ to the lost and dying world around me. My purpose isn't to teach music. My purpose isn't even to write sermons. My purpose is to point people to the One that could change their life forever. That is my one purpose. It sounds simple and it is, but that simple fact, that one purpose, impacted me greatly tonight.

On my ride home, when this inspiration occurred, two songs played back to back on the radio - "Do Something" by Matthew West, and "Live It Well" by Switchfoot. In "Live It Well", the main lines of the chorus say "Life is short, I want to live it well. You're the One I'm living for." Really, that's my theme tonight. I don't want to waste my life living for any purpose other than living for Jesus. I may be doing other things, but if in the end what I'm doing doesn't point back to that purpose, I really need to evaluate what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

In all of the busyness that is my life, yes, I do need to slow down. However, even as I work at school, as I work at church, as I teach private lessons, no matter what I'm doing, I need to keep my focus on one thing alone - living my life for Him. That's all. That's it. Nothing more and nothing less. A single purpose. Everything else is secondary.

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." Colossians 3:23

Father, help me to keep my eyes on You at all times and to reflect Your light to the world around me. Simplify my purpose in life so that it all points back to You. Help me to be an example for You in all that I say and do. In Jesus name, amen.

Home

Home. What is it? Where is it?

Long Pond Camp, Duane, NY

I grew up in the Adirondack Mountains, a 6 million acre park, making it the largest protected area in the mainland 48 states. There are many “great camps” throughout the Adirondacks, privately owned by the rich and famous. My father was the caretaker for one of those camps, a property of around 1000 acres, with two lakes, a pond, and miles of trails through the woods and over the mountains. Aside from a few structures, the property is vastly undeveloped and completely wild. The nearest neighbors are well over half of a mile away.

Because my father was the caretaker, we lived on that property. That is where I grew up. That is where I originally called home. It was very quiet and peaceful. If you stopped and stood completely still, you would hear nothing but absolute silence, except for perhaps the wind softly blowing, a squirrel scurrying up a tree, or the birds chirping up above. Years ago, if you had asked me to define home, I would have described that property. 

Since I grew up mostly alone and my formative years were spent on such a vast, quiet piece of land, I have always been much more introverted than extroverted, and preferred solitude to exposure to people. Fast forward many years: I survived dorm life in college, where I shared a tiny dorm room, maybe 10 feet square, with two roommates: one from Nepal and one from Kenya. I have lived in a rental house in North Carolina where the neighbor’s kids would frequently turn my front lawn into an end zone as they played football with their friends. I then went on to own a different house in North Carolina, where my view was of endless rows of houses.

Today, now back in upstate NY, I live in the parsonage of the small-town church that I pastor. The parsonage is on one of the busiest roads in town. In fact, even as I write this, I am listening to the many cars whizzing by, only a few yards from the front of the house. This is home now - on a street busy with traffic speeding by, in town, far from isolation, with my neighbor's young grandchildren running through my backyard as they play, people having conversations in their driveways, and many people walking by everyday as they head to the store or to the post office. I have fallen in love with this town and I have fallen in love with the people here. I know that this is far from city life, but it is still far from what I would have described my home to be years ago.

God sometimes moves us out of our comfort zones, and when He does, if we are faithful to follow Him, He will give us a peace beyond belief. I live outside of my comfort zone everyday. I’m okay with that. I’m grateful that He has given me a completely new and different perspective on people. I could revert back to my desire to be “home”, alone in the quiet of the woods, but instead when I see my neighbors, and I see people walking by, I see people that are hurting. I see people that need hope. I see people that need Jesus and the hope of a future in heaven with Him. I want to share that hope with them. I want to lead Victory Baptist Church to share that hope with them. I want to share life with them. I want to make a difference. I just don’t always know how to make that difference.

Brasher Falls, NY

I have heard it said that for Christians, heaven is our home. That is true. However, until then we have a temporary home on this earth. God has taught me in recent years, that home is not about a location or a town. Home is not about a building or a house. Home is not even about the people there. Home is about being where God wants us to be. Home is about being satisfied in Him. Home is about having concern for those around us, no matter where we are, and no matter who they might be - our neighbors. Unfortunately, too many of us are still asking “Who is my neighbor?” (see Luke 10).

The familiar passage below, that Jesus told his disciples, is often used to talk about heaven and how He is preparing a place for us there. However, I recently have been pondering a different spin on that. Forgive me for taking scripture out of context. However, I believe that God prepares places for us on this earth as well. I believe that God leads us to where He wants us to serve and that He leads us to people that we can be effective in sharing the gospel with, if only we would be so bold and willing to do so.

John 14:1-4 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well. In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

I believe that God has, in many ways, prepared this place for me to serve, and in the same way, He has prepared me to serve this place. And although this place is far different than I ever would have pictured home to be, I can say in full confidence that I am home.

I Can't Do That... Yet.

It's the start of a new school year and, as most of you know, in addition to being a pastor, I also am a choral/vocal music teacher for grades 7-12 at the combined middle and high school in the small town that I live in. With the start of a new school year, there are a lot of changes. The seniors that I had in class last year are no longer there. I have many new faces in my high school choir and an entirely different mood/personality in that group, for the better. I also have an entirely new group of 7th graders to get to know and teach. I have only had my middle school students for two class days now, but there is one girl in my 8th period class that, when I ask the class to do something, has said this on both of those days: "I can't do that... yet." 

It's amazing how much, as a teacher, I can learn from my students. It's also amazing how much adults can learn from younger minds. When she said that statement earlier today, I was immediately reminded about how often we make excuses, or we try to get out of things that we don't feel that we are any good at.

Take me, for example. I have been on stage for as long as I can remember, singing and playing instruments. However, up until a few years ago, if you had asked me to speak, in any length at all in front of people, I would have laughed it off. I have never considered myself to be a very good speaker. However, I know without a doubt that God has called me to be a pastor and to speak truth and hope into the lives of the people of Winthrop and Brasher Falls, and the surrounding communities. No doubt. Speaking every week from the pulpit still scares me every time. In fact, when I first spoke at Victory, in December of 2014, although nobody knew it, I literally was about to pass out in the front pew, during the music, because of my nerves. Speaking does not come naturally to me. When God was calling me back north to pastor, I kind of had a conversation with God in which I listed every reason that I shouldn't do it, including how pathetic I was at speaking, both conversationally and to crowds. But God reminded me that it wasn't my power that would allow me to do it, but it was His. He reminded me that if He truly was calling me to do this, that He would give me the strength and He would give me the ability to succeed. And He has been faithful to do that, as I continue to learn what it means to pastor and lead this congregation, as well as how to grow in my speaking skills, although there is still plenty of room to grow in that department.

Hebrews 13:20-21 says, "Now may the God of peace who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with His blood—may He equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him. All glory to Him forever and ever! Amen." (my emphasis added)

God will equip us with the tools that we need to carry out the plan that He has for our lives. We can choose to trust Him and follow His lead, or we can choose to follow our plan for our lives and end up somewhere completely off the map from where God intends for us and desires for us to be. As followers of Christ, we need to trust that God knows what He's doing, even when we feel unequipped and incapable of doing what He asks. All through the bible, God used people that logically shouldn't have been able to accomplish all that they did. It was only because God equipped them so that they could do His will. Are you willing to follow after God's will? Or are you making excuses for not taking a step of faith into whatever God has ahead for you?

Perhaps we should adopt the same philosophy to our faith, and to our lives, that my student has adopted for my chorus class - I can't do that... yet, BUT in God's time, and in God's way, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)